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Posts Tagged ‘Surviving R. Kelly’

A Lesson We Can Learn From “Surviving R Kelly”

In Fatherless, Lifestyle, Uncategorized on January 17, 2019 at 6:29 pm

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With the latest documentary release about R Kelly, we believe it is imperative to discuss a topic many may find uncomfortable but we must have.  Sexual Abuse is a true consequence of growing up in a fatherless home.  And a lesson we can learn is, boys are just as susceptible as girls to it.

In order to have a fair conversation lets clarify a few facts.  Far too often we associate Sexual Abuse with girls versus boys.  However, according to childtrauma.org 1 out of 3 females and 1 out of 5 males have been victims of sexual abuse.  American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress (AAETS) says, 30% of all male children are molested in some way, compared to 40% of females. Numbers do not lie and these numbers insinuate boys and girls are BOTH at risk of sexual assault especially when they are from fatherless homes.

Effects of Childhood Sexual Abuse: 

  • Withdrawal and mistrust of adults
  • Suicidality
  • Difficulty relating to others except in sexual or seductive ways
  • Unusual interest in or avoidance of all things sexual or physical
  • Sleep problems, nightmares, fears of going to bed
  • Frequent accidents or self-injurious behaviors
  • Refusal to go to school, or to the doctor, or home
  • Secretiveness or unusual aggressiveness
  • Sexual components to drawings and games
  • Neurotic reactions (obsessions, compulsiveness, phobias)
  • Habit disorders (biting, rocking)
  • Unusual sexual knowledge or behavior
  • Prostitution
  • Forcing sexual acts on other children
  • Extreme fear of being touched
  • Unwillingness to submit to a physical examination

Contrary to girls, boys may not even recognize their sexual victimization. They may assert that they weren’t abused, weren’t hurt, or were in charge of what happened.  For them, acknowledging victimization means admitting they’re weak or “not male.”

A Step to Help & Healing
To ensure the children around you are able to share any abuse that may have taken place, it is necessary to create an atmosphere of openness.  If you are a parent, always have age-appropriate discussions on sexual abuse, leaving an open door policy.  Also, make sure you do not ignore conversations about “someone touched me” while paying attention to any of the signs mentioned above.

If you suspect Sexual Abuse or have been abused, please report to the Police.  After reporting the abuse to the Police, find a Licensed Therapist to initiate the healing from the Sexual Abuse in order to reduce the potential of the abused from becoming the abuser.

80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes –14 times the average. – Justice & Behavior, Vol 14.

Happy to help.

For a Licensed Therapist go to www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists or if you have any questions feel free to email TFGF Admin at info@tfgf.org

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