In Fatherless, Lifestyle, Single Parenting, Uncategorized, Youth Programs on August 30, 2013 at 6:20 pm
Tug-Of-War has been taking place since ancient Egypt and it used to be an Olympic Sport. But what is the purpose of Tug-Of-War? According to Webster’s Dictionary Tug-of- War is a struggle for supremacy or control usually involving two antagonists; adversaries, opponents, or contenders.
Where am I going with this? How do two parents play “Tug-Of-War” with their child? I know things can get pretty complicated when two people decide to go their separate ways. And it can truly become UGLY when children are involved. BUT… I am puzzled by the idea that one parent feels the need to usurp authority… control over the other through force by becoming their adversary and using the child as the “rope” by which they accomplish their goal. Yeah. It happens. Way too often.
In working with fatherless children through The Fatherless Generation Foundation Inc. I have encountered all aspects of fatherlessness. And we often see a child having no access to their biological father because of the inability of one parent to let go of their issues in order to allow the other a fair chance to build their own relationship.
Have you ever seen an actual tug-of-war competition? It is a brutal game where the opponents can get rope burn or even worse. Cbsnews.com says, “It may be a childhood game, but tug-of-war injuries can be serious and lead to permanent consequences.” So what happens when the “rope” you are using is your child? You find yourself wrapping your hands around them, tying knots, or entangle yourself to them in a very dysfunctional way to secure your grip. BUT… when you wrap your hands around, tie knots, or even entangle yourself, you place all at risk to lose a finger, hand, or even dislocate parts of their body. YOU CREATE PERMANENT CONSEQUENCES FOR ALL INVOLVED! Once the “rope” snaps, all are truly able to see the trauma inflicted upon it. Oh… and believe you me… the “rope” will eventually snap due to all of the tension being place upon it!
So why do this? The relationship is over. We get that. But is the life of your child worth so little you would use them as the tool by which you attempt to control and destroy another persons life? Think long and hard before you answer. Because it is easy to say “No. My child is worth everything to me.” Many even use their love for their children as their reason for playing this dangerous game of Tug-Of-War. But today is the day you begin to declare by your actions… “NO MORE TUG-OF-WAR!”
In Uncategorized on September 13, 2012 at 10:29 pm
Teachers and pastors witness its devastating effects every day
What is it exactly Teachers and Pastors are witnessing on a daily basis? They are witnessing the effects of the Fatherless Generation!
Teachers and Pastors come face to face with the reality many of us clearly are in denial about. The truth of the Fatherless Generation is, the pain left by an absent father has gone beyond individual households, but has become deeply embedded into our culture and causing social catastrophe across all lines. You may beg to differ, but when the statistics prove otherwise we must begin to look from within and ask the hard questions. So, what happens when both boys and girls who need a wise father who encourages them and strengthens them, and provides what a mother cannot is left without their fathers presence?
The absence of biological fathers increases by 900% a daughter’s vulnerability 2 rape & sexual abuse. -(US Department of Justice)
Fatherless children are 92% more likely to dissolve their marriage when they get married! (Department of Justice)
72% of teenage murderers come from fatherless home. (Department of Justice)
85% of rapist come from a fatherless home. (Department of Justice)
And these are just a few.
The Fatherless are not only living without their father. But some are living in a place of emotional devastation. When will we as a society wake up and treat fatherlessness as the epidemic it clearly is?
I pray now is the time.
In Uncategorized on November 10, 2011 at 3:52 am
We have established that the statistics say, 24 million people are or have grown up without their biological fathers in their lives. The statistics go on to say 40% of all American households are fatherless and 70% of African American households are fatherless. But once the statistics have been touted now what? How do they play out in your personal affairs? Does your elementary school teacher give you a break because your dad left home last month? Or how about… Does your boss have sympathy for you because you grew up without your father and today is a bad day for you because it is “Father’s Day?” NOPE!
There is so much more to being “Fatherless” than some numbers! In the next few weeks we will begin filming a documentary called “Beyond Fatherless!” This documentary delves into the life of fatherless celebrities, business owners, politicians and more.
In Uncategorized on April 14, 2011 at 9:06 pm
Isaiah 40:3 (AMP)
A voice of one who cries: Prepare in the wilderness the way of the Lord [clear away the obstacles]; make straight and smooth in the desert a highway for our God!
What makes you listen to someone when they are speaking? Is it what they are saying? Maybe it is how they articulate their words? OR how loud they are speaking?
I daily cry for those who are fatherless and the hurt, pain, anguish, embarrassment, rejection and shame they continuously feel. I cry out to God to heal their hearts and restore them to a state of wholeness. Some days I feel as though my journey to set the fatherless free is mine and mine alone.
I am still unsure what makes ONE…then TWO… then THREE… and so on to listen to what someone has to say. But one thing that causes me to listen is the content of what a person is speaking and how it relates to me.
A few days ago I recorded my fatherless journey! I hope you relate and find hope in the words I speak. Can’t wait for you to see it. But here is a sneak peek!