torrij

How Fatherlessness is Impacting Your Ability to Co-Parent

In Uncategorized on December 10, 2019 at 11:12 pm

In some ways, you are reliving your childhood with your ex.

  1. Your abandonment issues
    • You recognize the cycle and will fight tooth and nail to recreate or ensure the same thing does not happen to you.
    • A Key symptom to Abandonment issues is the actual fear of abandonment. You are always on the watch for abandonment, so much so it causes you to This symptom may need frequent reassurance that the person is not leaving, you even go to great lengths to try to avoid abandonment and to feel devastated when someone ends a relationship with you.  In many ways, it’s a double-whammy. People with Borderline Personality Disorder both fear abandonment and have symptoms that create CONFLICT with others.
  2. Conflict is where you find comfort. Conflict often leads to abandonment, which then reinforces the fear.
  3. Your Picker is Broken.  Subconsciously, adults with Abandonment Disorder tend to choose spouses or partners who resemble one of their parents so that they can recreate their childhood and get it right this time. But without an understanding of the reasons for their behaviors, they are seldom successful.  
  4. It is hard to set aside your emotions. How do you set aside hurt and your anger for the sake of the children when you have never learned these behaviors? You are still dealing with unresolved emotions of your own.
  5. How can I Co-Parent when “I” is all I see? There is no “I” in Team and neither is “I” in Co-Parenting.  It is a tremendous challenge to recreate what you never saw what a team looks like.

Take a listen to what Dr. Torri J. shared on Healing Tuesday about the impact your fatherlessness is having on your ability to co-parent.

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