torrij

Archive for November, 2018|Monthly archive page

Daddy Issues

In Career, Fatherless, Lifestyle, Uncategorized on November 9, 2018 at 8:58 pm

“Piece by piece, he restored my faith

that a man can be kind and a father could, stay”

―Kelly Clarkson

 

New one

ustylemag.com

 

Many fatherless children are walking around and going about their daily lives suppressing the fact that they have daddy issues.  The thought is I have grown beyond the 12-year-old boy or girl waiting for my father to come to my school recital, birthday party, or even just a regularly scheduled visit. I have “gotten over it!”  But in truth, that does not mean your daddy issues are through with you.

Why do you need to slow down and deal with your daddy issues? 

This is necessary because of the impact that your daddy issues are having on your relationships with your spouse, family, friends, and even your children. What many do not know because of the high level of suppression, is that their daddy issues are even impacting their performance at work.

How do you stop suppressing and work through the pain of your daddy issues? 

#1 Sit Still

We use being busy as a way to not deal with the cracks in our foundation. You must get quiet. Allow the inner you to speak to you about what it needs.

#2 Listen 

It is time you listen to you. Once you get quiet and begin to listen, the inner you will begin to expose the areas of trauma affecting your life. Take the time to write them in a journal.

#3 Experience the trauma from a place of seeking resolution.

When you begin to listen, you will initially be afraid. And I will say, depending on how deep the trauma is, I need for you to seek a qualified therapist to assist you with your healing.  What I know is, when you go back and experience the trauma from a place of seeking resolution, you discover different outcomes.  Your conclusions are based on truth and not on the myopic perspective of a child whose heart has been broken. Those new conclusions are now shaped from a stronger, more confident, and free-er you!

#4 Write a Letter to Your Father 

Writing a letter to your father is one of the most freeing actions you can take for your own healing.  Now, whether or not you send it to him is up to you.  I suggest you take the time to listen concerning that decision as well. For some, you may want to go beyond writing the letter and reach out to your father or an extended family member if he is not open or has passed on to share your heart. You may find the surprise of your life!

 

Compassionately yours,

Dr. Torri J. Evans-Barton

Founder & CEO

The Fatherless Generation Foundation, Inc.

 

Are You Your Father?

In Fatherless, Lifestyle, Uncategorized on November 1, 2018 at 4:20 pm

“Identity is revealed through exposure and developed and cultivated through relationship. ”

―Dr. Torri J.

Man in the Mirror 3

khulumaafrika.com

I have heard it time and time again and I get it. You are nothing like the man who abandoned you. But in truth, you may be more like your absent father than you think or want to be. Just from a DNA perspective alone, you can learn a lot about yourself.

DNA is a very powerful piece of your puzzle. Not to get too scientific on you but, you inherit one chromosome for each of your parents for each pair of chromosomes you have. More and more studies are showing the distribution of the chromosomes inherited is not as equal as one might believe.

Fathers seem to dominate when Mom has a recessive, mutated, or weaker gene. This means some of the amazing traits you have like your gorgeous eyes, intellect, athletic ability, personality, etc. may very well come from your father. But the same effect does not happen when Fathers have a mutated or weaker gene. Mom’s gene is still dominated by the Father’s causing you to inherit a mutated or weaker gene making you more susceptible to chemical imbalances within your brain, predisposed to addiction and other behavioral disorders, as well as disease. And let’s not forget the fact that our father’s chromosome determines our sex; whether or not we are male or female.

Man in the Mirror 2

digest.bps.org.uk

 

So what can your absent father answer about your DNA? At the very least, he can answer questions you have about your medical history. However, I would never ask you to reunite with your absent father just for medical history.

He has more he can contribute. Your absent father can also answer the questions my father answered for me. Why are you the way you are? How do your natural abilities reveal your divine calling and purpose? Why do you move the way you do in life? Why do you think the way you do? Now, let me be very clear. This includes the good and the bad. Your identity is just as much about how you look on the outside as it is about who you are on the inside. Have you ever done something and asked yourself, “Where do I get this from?” You ask the question because, from your single-mom lens, no one on her side of the family has this trait. If this is true, I am almost certain your dad can answer the question.

Identity is revealed through exposure to your biological father and developed & cultivated through a relationship with him.

Time to reunite,

Dr. Torri J. Evans-Barton

Founder & CEO

The Fatherless Generation Foundation, Inc.